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Thursday, February 28th, 2002
3:24 am - It's been awhile, it's time to move on.
Moving on to boutade. Do update your friends' list. I love you all, and I hope I wouldn't leave the new beginning to rot again.

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Friday, December 28th, 2001
4:16 pm - Doo daa dee dum
Scanning my computer for virus now. I'm a little paranoid about being infected, because the hassle to remove the damn thing makes me wanna pull all my hair out. I realise that everytime I decide to go out, it rains. And when I decide to stay home, it's all bright and sunny. Ho hum, how nice.

My face is itching. I'm really quite pissed off with my complexion right now, and I'm glad I'll be visiting Dr. Thiru Moorthy this coming Wednesday. Phew. I read that taking antibiotics would only help for a period of time, and I'm considering going for skin peels. Yerps, that's how desperate and vain I am.

Yesterday, I was at Flowers in the Attic and I saw this GORGEOUS halter neck dress. I really wanted to get it (come on it is only $40), but Emily was right about me not having anywhere to where that dress to. How disappointing. So I think I'll just wait until next month to get a pair of jeans and maybe some nice tops (if I can find any). I'll be cutting my hair only during mid-feb because there's gonna be an extra charge for cutting hair during Chinese New Year season right? I'm not too sure, but I definitely do not want to fork out $700 on my hair. $300 is already more than enough, considering the fact that my father is ready to wring my neck any moment. Hmf.

I'm bored, bloody bored. Think I shall go take a nap. *Yawns*


current mood: bored

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Sunday, December 23rd, 2001
6:16 pm - If only everything was in black and white.
I'm tired. Sleep last night was restless and I kept waking up from nightmares that I can't recall. During lunch, my brother was discussing the future, and he kept putting me down. He was going on about what I'm studying is pathetic and forever I'll be nothing. But I'm kinda used to it, my brother is condescending. He started talking about my stepmother and revenge, and it really scared me. He seems so bitter about everything and I don't know how to let him know we should just let things be. Yeah, my stepmother did steal my dad away. Yeah, she looks down on us. Yeah, my father cares more about his other family than us. But what can we do? Everything is fated, isn't it? Causing them harm, wouldn't do us any good.

My brother even talked about letting my half sister know that her mother is a slut. But why must a child pay for his/her parent's sins? I just feel sick to the stomach knowing that my brother carries so much pain and anger with him. Yeah, we no longer have a father who showers us with love. But at least my dad didn't walk out on us and not support us. I don't know. My family is so filled with vengeance and inner-pain that it gets to me. As usual, I would sit at a corner and observe, but I never want to see my mother or father hurt. I love them very much, eventhough they don't give me everything that I want.

It's a long story. And I feel sick... Maybe I'll continue later.

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Friday, December 21st, 2001
1:39 pm - There's nothing more to say; I see it all in those eyes of yours.
I'm sizzling. Have no idea why the weather in Singapore gets to me so much, but it seems to ruin every single optimistic thought in this brain of mine. Although, it's pretty windy, I'm perspiring like mad, and I suspect there's an odour emitting from my body. Yuck.

So, I'm planning to head down to town today. Yes, I'm willing to fight the crowd so I can go browse at the stuff I wanna get and then make up my stupid mind. Obviously, I've gotta be sensible now and not buy everything in sight. So now, it's down to loads and loads of procrastinating.

Heh. I don't really have any idea what I'm doing now. Just typing typing typing. Maybe I'll just go off to watch Days of Our Lives. Yerps, I will. It's called Television Therapy.

current mood: cranky

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Thursday, December 20th, 2001
2:01 am - Everything you say; takes my breath away.
Feeling bored of course. That's why it's time to fill up some stuff! Woot woot!

5 Basic Things About Me
1. I have a bad attitude towards life and most people.
2. I am super talkative.
3. I am very vain.
4. I seem confident but I'm actually a very insecure person.
5. I cry a lot.

5 Other Things About Me
1. Sometimes, I can be very child-like.
2. I'm known to be a mean bitch, but only to those who I can't stand.
3. I put other people's feelings before my own.
4. I am not driven at all, and most of the time I question my existence.
5. I'm an insomniac who is in need of counselling.

5 Things About My Family
1. Both my parents are remarried and can't stand the sight of each other.
2. My stepmother is 13 years younger than my dad and she used to be a "mamasan" (aka prostitute).
3. My father is a very serious person, and I don't really talk to him (but I love him very much).
4. My mom was pretty when she was young and she still is now (that explains the number of men STILL going after her).
5. My real brother is a pig and I prefer my half sister to him.

5 Things About My Love/crush
This of course is about Jasmine.

1. She has a temper that could give mine a run for my money.
2. She's quiet and comes off as aloof, but she's actually just shy.
3. She loves her dog very much but refuses to admit it.
4. She is working very hard now so she can pay for own school fees to study in Melbourne next year.
5. She always thinks her work is not good, but she's just pessimistic by nature.

5 Material Things I Couldn't Live Without
1. My laptop.
2. My mobile phone.
3. My credit card.
4. My television and cable.
5. My cosmetics and beauty products.

5 Things That Changed My Life
1. When my parents divorced when I was 6.
2. Going over to Melbourne and meeting the people who play a special part in my life.
3. Dropping out of Melbourne Uni and moving on to RMIT.
4. Meeting Jasmine.
5. Actually ah, how to fit so much stuff into just 5 places?

So there, now it's bedtime. I'm trying to get my Australian phone bill but the thing just WON'T load. So I'll just leave that till tomorrow.

current mood: sleepy

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Tuesday, December 18th, 2001
12:19 pm - I want love that won't break me down; won't brick me up; won't fence me in.
I Want Love - Elton John

I want love, but it's impossible
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated

I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love, that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

I want love on my own terms
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I've seen so much traffic

So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough


I'm in love with this song. Some of Elton John's songs are just lovely.

current mood: awake

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Monday, December 10th, 2001
2:13 am - Revolution, that's what I want.
I've got nothing much to say here. I don't know. Maybe because no one really reads this? I don't know. Ah, just still disappointed about the thing with my dad. It really happens quite often, and it just makes me feel kinda insignificant. My mom even screamed at me because of that. Sometimes, I don't know what's her problem. I'm watching Geri Halliwell on MTV now. She's really lost a lot of weight, and I'm bloody envious.

I was discussing this weight issue with Wenlene, and we both confirmed that a lot of Singaporean girls are shrinking away, while we're piling on the Aussie weight. I need to tone up, and get healthy. It'll be good for me, but of course I need motivation. And don't forget my essay, I've gotta get it done by the end of this week, if not I'm gonna fail. Sigh. I just don't feel like getting anything done.

Gonna do a survey before I go off to bed. Here goes:


01. name? You can just call me Adelle.
02. d.o.b.? May 30th, 1982.
03. location? Singapore/Melbourne.
04. religion? Christian.
05. occupation? Student.


01. hair? Growing really fast and black streaked brown (the old blonde highlights are coming back too).
02. eyes? Dark brown.
03. height? 164/5 cm.
04. weight? 50 kg (I stopped weighing myself a long time ago).
05. figure? Flabby.


01. clothing? It depends; Most of the times I do a mix between rock and retro. I'm pretty girly too.
02. music? Hip-hop; Rap; R&B.
03. makeup? Lots of M.A.C stuff involved here. But my make up is basic: powder, blush, eyebrows, and gloss. I really can't be bothered to really dress up in Singapore because the weather ruins all my hardwork.
04. bodyart? Navel; tongue; ear piecings. Shoulder blade; Lower back tattoos.


01. wearing? My old St' Nicks P.E shorts and hockey jersey.
02. listening to? Geri Halliwell (She's on TV).
03. thinking of? What to buy when I go out.
04. feeling? Sleepy and disappointed.
05. where are you? At home, duh.


01. bought? Ermm.. I don't remember buying anything on Saturday (miracle eh?), but I bought myself some new funky socks on Friday.
02. did? Scratched my neck.
03. ate & drank? I just drank yakult and ate longans.
04. read? Some people's logs and journals.
05. watched on tv? Geri Halliwell.


01. club or houseparty? Neither, I'm so damn boring.
02. tea or coffee? Tea; I've got a big phobia of coffee after this minor breakdown last year.
03. high achiever or easygoing? Easy-going.
04. beer or cider? Cider; I hate beer.
05. drinks or shots? Definitely shots.
06. cats or dogs? Cats.
07. single or taken? That really depends.
08. pen or pencil? Pencil.
09. gloves or mittens? Gloves.
10. food or candy? Food.
11. cassette or cd? Ermm...How about MP3s?
12. snuff or cigarettes? *shakes head*.
13. coke or pepsi? Coke; I think Pepsi tastes weird.
14. hard or mild alcohol? Hard of course; if you wanna drink you might as well go all the way.
15. matches or a lighter? Lighter; but I have my bad experiences with both.
16. sunset beach or the bold and the beautiful? I used to watch Sunset Beach, but can I choose Days of Our Lives?
17. rickie lake or oprah winfrey? Depends on my mood, but I think I'll vote with Ricki Lake.


01. kill? Someone at my ex-workplace.
02. shag? Angelina Jolie.
03. slap? Refer to 01.
04. hear from? Ah, I don't really care.
05. get really wasted with? Anyone who is a good person to get wasted with. That means no whining; no drama-ing; no shit.
06. tickle? I'll be courting my own death.
07. look like? Nicole Kidman.
08. be like? Angelina Jolie.
09. avoid? A lot of people.
10. tease? Whoever is fun to tease.

Alright, I'm done. Before I forget, I need to write a little about how some people are irritating me. You know when I go out, uncivilised people see my tattoo on my shoulder (it's freaking hard to cover that one up), and they shout "HU DIE" (Butterfly in Chinese). It's really stupid and well rude. Cos most of the times, it's like the Ah peks and Ah Bengs who do that. That's really damn irritating, and because I'm quite slow, I don't realise they're talking about me until quite late. Gr...

Speaking of tattoos, IF YOU WANT A TATTOO DON'T GO TO JOHNNY TWO THUMBS. Yeah, Richard might be good, but PLEASE the service they offer is not good. First things first; he overcharges. My butterfly tattoo is fucking simple and they charged me $150, which is a total rip-off. And Richard promised me a touch-up, so a few weeks back I went back for one, and he said, "Ah the colour looks very nice, don't need touch up." It's like, FUCK! My tattoo is fading so badly, it looks green and blue now (suppose to be black and blue). And what kinda service is that? And they are kinda snobby, thinking that they are the best! That's fucked up!

My friend did my other tattoo for me, and his work is really good. A lot of people (other tattoo artists from rival shops) even praised his work. And he is very reasonable with his pricing. I just feel that, even if you're good, doesn't mean you have the right to rip someone off. Richard charged my friend $300 to touch up her ALL-BLACK tattoo. That's really ridiculous. So whoever wants to get one done, trust me, don't go to J2Thumbs. I can introduce you to my friend, and I guarantee you that he is really really good!

Yeah, so I've complained enought. Time to go to bed! Nighters.

current mood: disappointed

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Sunday, December 2nd, 2001
4:17 am - Hee haw; today is morbid day.
Nothing much to say. I cried in public today. At Toa Payoh. Never want to show my face there again. So damn "unglam"...

Oh well, I think I've got rheumatism. Legs hurt. I actually wanted to go down to Mr Bean's to look for Weifang. Had to go home to pass my mom food though, and Jasmine and I weren't feeling too good.

Everyone's so damn selfish sometimes. Sigh. Ah, that's the way life is. Can't complain. I'm gonna go stone myself till I fall asleep.

current mood: blah

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Saturday, December 1st, 2001
2:59 am - Survey whore at work.
So I'm still in a foul mood from just now. Nothing new. Got this survey from Weifang, who got this from Jem. I miss you both, talk to me soon?

1. What is your full name?
Alicia Tan May Shan.

2. What colour underwear are you wearing right now?

4. What song are you listening to right now?
Clint Eastwood by Gorrilaz. They are the bomb.

5. What are the last four digits of your phone number?
Which phone? To be safe, I won't list it here. :P

6. What was the last thing you ate?
Rice with soup and lots of dishes.

7. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Yes, a girlfriend.

8. If you were a crayon, what colour would you want to be?
Red. It's a colour that represents lots of emotions.

9. Where would you like to go on your honeymoon?
I wanna travel around the world. First Ibiza, then Paris, Egypt, Milan, France, Cambodia, Vietnam, Japan, Hong Kong, return to Singapore for awhile, then last stop will be New York. And there I'll stay forever, travelling between there and Ibiza of course.

11. Do you like snow, sun or rain?

12. How is the weather right now?
Humid as usual, "cool" in Singapore is still fucking warm to me.

13. Last person you talked to on the phone?

14. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
I don't really like oogling at guys. But when I see a guy that looks kinda rugged, I'll check out his eye colour. Mad? Yes.

15. Do you like the person that sent you this?
No one sent me this. I stole it from Weifang and I adore her to bits. She's like my little sister.

16. How are you today?
Not really good. Some should know why, and if you don't. Don't ask.

17. Your favourite drink?
I'm always drink QOO's white grape. I don't get that in Melbourne you know.

18. Alcohol?
They were my best friends. I like Tequila shots; Cowboy Fucks; Quick Fucks. Sounds crude, taste yummy. Shots are always the best.

19. How do you eat an Oreo?
I don't care how I eat it. I just dump the whole cookie in my mouth.

20. Favourite sport?
I played Hockey and that should count. I also enjoy watching Gymnastics, swimming, and diving.

21. What makes you happy?
Ah, when people stop being mean to me and give me a chance to be myself. I won't ask for more I swear.

22. What's the next CD you're gonna get?
I'm not a CD person. When there's MP3s who needs those? *evil laughter*

23. Birthdate?
30th May 1982.

24. Hair colour?
Black streaked brown. I don't know; the colour is a mess now.

25. Eye colour?
Dark brown.

26. Height?
164? 165? I haven't measured myself in awhile, but it always fluctuates.

27. Do you wear contacts?

28. Siblings and their ages?
Adrian (24); Sarah (10).

29. What school did you attend?
St Nicholas got the first half of my life; then Trinity College; dabbled in Melbourne Univeristy for 6 months and now I'm in RMIT.

30. What religion are you?
Christianity. But I'm not a good Christian, not one bit.

31. What do you like to do?
Very vague question. I do things that I enjoy, mainly shopping and lazing around.

32. What's the best advice given to you?
"Making one mistake is better than making your whole life a mistake".

33. What are your future goals?
Finish my degree; move on to do a masters in marketing; and then work for awhile. When I earn the bucks, I'll travel around, settle down in New York, do a fashion course and work at the same time. When I'm satisfied, I'll just go to NYU and study Film and Production and get into the industry. HA. Or maybe I can just drop everything and move to Ibiza.

36. Fav music?
Hip hop; R&B; Rap.

37. Fav food?
Japanese; but not all the raw stuff.

38. Fav movie?
Original Sin and Moulin Rouge.

39. Fav day of the year?
The day the world stops the war and live in harmony.

41. Do you like to dance?
Used to. I LOVED cheerleading, but grew out of that. I LOVED clubbing, but grew out of that. I LOVED stomping at raves, but grew out of that. Now I just like dancing in my dreams.

42. Are you shy to ask someone out?
Depends. I can be quite shameless at times.

43. Worst sickness you ever had?
This horrible stomach flu that got me puking out all the Chinese New Year food eons ago.

44. What's the stupidest thing you have ever done?
Trying to end my life.

45. Do you like scary or happy movies better?
I hate it when movies get too happy. And I'm scared to watch scary movies, but still I watch them. So I have a love-hate relationship with both.

46. On the phone or in person?
In person. That way, it's easier to tell if that person is lying.

47.Summer or Winter?
When summer is not too hot; and winter is not too cold.

48. Hugs or kisses?
Depends on who they're from.

49. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
The way I think, seems like I have a very wired mind. Either that, or the people I hang around with are fucked up.

50. Name of book you most recently read (for pleasure)?
Some VC Andrews book. Wahaha.

51. Do you want your friends to write back?
I only want to receive mails from people I like.


Yeah there it goes. I'm going to bed. I'm feeling mean and sarcastic. Not a good time to be around. Die, Adelle, die.

current mood: moody

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Friday, November 30th, 2001
3:49 pm - Stress? There's no such word in my dictionary.
Ah, I'm busy emailing MTV Asia and Cleo right now. Being a little kiasu. I'm already confirmed at FHM and I'm supposed to start work next Wednesday; but then again they might play me out you know?

So well, I spoke to FHM and they kinda told me that if I go in now to work, I wouldn't have anything to do. So he kinda told me I can just go in for 10 days and he'll sign my internship letter that I worked for 20 days (My course only requires me to work for 20 days). So heh, I'll get more time to laze around. But my dad won't be happy about it.

I spoke to Cleo, and the lady told me that I just have to send my resume in and she'll try to fit me in. But these days, I don't have much trust in the media industry, so I won't be betting my money on this. I just wanna finish my internship, and maybe work a little more so I wouldn't be at home twiddling my thumbs. This way, I wouldn't spend so much money too. And maybe I'll fucking start on the STUPID essay! ARGH.

I wanna work at some cosmetics counter; prefably MAC. I'll have so much fun, and all the discounts will drive me mad. See; even the little things in life can make me that happy.

I've been thinking a lot of Ibiza (it's pronounced as I-bee-tha not Ee-bee-za) again. New York is my dream of a great future; but Ibiza is just a plain dream to throw it all away. I don't know. Sometimes I just want to be irresponsible and have fun. Imagine going to "Manumission" (I forgot how it's spelled), and going wild. They have life sex shows at those raves. Ibiza and Goa are the bombs. At least in Melbourne, we have EPTAS and EarthCore. But then again, the rave scene is getting so commercialised. Now you know why I'm never interested in any Singapore shit like Zouk Out? There you have it; an ungrateful little wretch.

I'm not very patriotic. HA.

current mood: working

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2:49 am - Three second memory.
I'm a little irritated. What's new? Today I did something very stupid. I called Her World and Go Flirt, and they told me to email them. I did, but using the WRONG email address. And it was a from "the girl with the syringe in her hand". How could I ever do something so stupid. I freaked out, but the only thing I could do was to email them with the right address and explain that it was my sister's email account I was using. I can be such an idiot sometimes.

I feel like going to bed right now. But then again, I wouldn't fall asleep straight away. Some reading will be good. My mom isn't home. She's over at my Grand Auntie's place playing mahjong.

I've got this bad feeling that FHM is gonna play me out again. They asked me to wait till December and said I'll definitely get to do my internship there. And they're suppose to call me this week, no phone call yet. I tried calling them today, no one picked up. It's frustrating the shit out of me. I just want to finish up this damn internship, so I wouldn't have to worry about it next year. And of course, I'm dying to get some experience.

I called Her World last month and the editor told me to call the Fashion Editor this month. I was so damn excited, but when I called her today, they only needed Fashion Interns! Shit! I love fashion, but not being in that field sure sucks like hell. So she asked me to send her my work, and she might get me some freelance. I haven't started on writing features yet, and all I have are some crappy news stories. And, chances of me getting a try at freelancing for Her World? 0. I'm so disappointed.

I've got a lot to say, but so little time. And I always feel like no one's really listening. I've dedicated a lot of my life to listening to people, and putting their interests before mine. It's time to be a little selfish, no? But of course, it's a no can't do. I'll get hell if I even try to be a little different.

Know what I mean? *Shrugs*

current mood: disappointed

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Thursday, November 29th, 2001
1:37 am - The fairy of love.
What's with the title of this entry? I'm watching MTV's Singled Out that's why. Heh. I'm feeling pretty sick right now. My stomach is plain aching, and I have no idea what's wrong. I feel very much like puking my guts out. Sigh.

I emailed my lecturer yesterday to ask for an extension up to this Friday. I'm scared, really am. It's been more than a month since the date that my essay was due. And maybe it's a little too late now. I checked my results today and that particular subject wrote RW. That means Results Witheld. Argh. And out of 4, onlt 2 other were released. For Television 2C (Script writing & production), I got a Credit. Kinda expected that, cos my Script Writing teacher is one total bitch. She's rigid with the stories and always expects a boring ending, while we're more experimental. For Public Relations Writing, I got a Distinction. Shocker because I've skipped a lot of that class. I guess it was the neat handwriting that helped? HA.

*Whines* My tummy really hurts. I'll update later or tomorrow. Sigh.

current mood: sick

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Wednesday, November 28th, 2001
4:38 am - You stupid little girl, living in those fucked up dreams.
Feeling very bored. Another survey.

01. I hurt: myself.
02. I love: Jasmine; my family; my friends; and pretty little things.
03. I hate: a lot of people, but try not to go overboard.
04. I cry: a lot but it gets on people's nerves.
05. I fear: loneliness and heights.
06. I hope: that I'll have no worries.
07. I am sad: when people accuse me of things I didn't do; or when they don't bother to understand how I feel.
08. I feel alone: when I'm crying or hurt.
09. I kill: tiny little ants.
10. I talk: too much and change topics too fast.
11. I listen: because I want to.
12. I break: no one but myself.
13. I see: this damn LCD screen.
14. I smell: nothing (nose' block).
15. I taste: my lonzenges.
16. I work: at being a better person.
17. I remember: only the bad things.
18. I hold: my pain inside.
19. I hide: my true feelings.
20. I pray: only when I'm in deep shit (that's very bad of me).
21. I walk: and get tired easily.
22. I drive: myself nuts.
23. I read: childish books.
24. I burn: bras (just kidding).
25. I breathe: polluted air.
26. I play: mahjong and it makes me happy.
27. I miss: my father.
28. I touch: my hair every 5 minutes.
29. I learn: nothing from my mistaked.
30. I feel: tired.
31. I know: I should be doing my essay.
32. I said: nothing since 11PM last night.
33. I dream: and only remember the bad dreams.
34. I have: a craving for food.
35. I want: food.
36. I fall: and try to pick myself up.
37. I wait: for God to take me away when it's finally my time.
38. I need: love; understanding; peace; and strength.
39. I live: for everyone but myself.

I'm tired. Maybe I should just go to bed.

current mood: tired

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Friday, November 23rd, 2001
11:53 pm - Get a life! Get a life!
Ha. Survey time again. I got this from an email Rei sent me.

In Singapore, I live with my mom. In Melbourne, I live alone.

All my books are in Melbourne.

My mouse.

Definitely, Monopoly.


Morning dew; Chanel Allure for Men.

The funky smells lingering in public toilets.

Silence is what I love.


"Damn, I'm still alive." Ha, kidding. First time that comes to my mind is food.

I'm gonna name a few. Red; blue; pink; purple and black.

It depends and no one really cares.

Silver; Conner.

Love; family; friends; education; happiness.

Japanese; Stew beef; Salted vege soup; Bah kut teh; lots more.


If I can drive, why not?



I don't have a car yet, but I'm eyeing a Jeep Wrangler.

Audi TT Coupe; Jeep Wrangler; Porsche.

Angelina Jolie.

Tequila shots; Cowboy fuck; Quick fuck (sounds gross I know, but yummy).


No, I hate broccoli.

Fashion editor; Fashion merchandiser.

Of course.


Original Sin; Gia; Moulin Rouge; Rush Hour 2; etc.

Yeah I guess so.

My Singapore bed - Nothing. My Melbourne bed - Tons of shit.


Gymnastics; Diving; Swimming.

She's has the best advice to give.

Jem? She mentioned that she was a survey whore. :P

Ah who the fuck cares.

Okay, this survey is very familiar. I did it somewhere before. I bought a new belt and a cheap top from Bugis market today. Yay!

I'm gonna go upload some pics now. Toodles.

current mood: tired

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4:15 pm - I love the voodoo that you do so well.
I'm going shopping. I'm going to shop away this indescriable mood. I am unmotivated. I find it very hard to do the important things now. I just want to sleep everything away and wake up with no memory. Like the guy in that show, I forgot the title.

I've never had a bad memory. Maybe I deliberately forget things. It's better that way, no? I'm going to get ready. I had enough of my nonsense, how about you?

current mood: indescribable

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Thursday, November 22nd, 2001
2:19 am - Look at me sister, you're so mad.
Didn't do anything today. Nothing at all, but sleep, eat and watch TV. My mom scolded me cos I haven't finished my essay. I still can't get over the fact that she has a tattoo. She never seizes to amaze/astound/shock/whatever me. She even warned me not to tell my brother she's started smoking again. She claims that she's really stress and stuff when I told her off. She told me that she won't tell my brother about my tattoos so I've gotta shut my mouth. I don't want my brother finding out because he'll tell my dad, and there'll be this big hoo-ha.

Another survey. "Any Given Sunday" is boring the shit out of me.

001. First name: Alicia
002. Middle name: May Shan
003. Last name: Tan.
004. Nickname(s): Adelle; Ah Diao; Bloppy; Mei mei; Shannie Shan Shan.
005. Screen names: Underware.
006. Gender: Female.
007. Age: 19.
008. Type of Music: Hip-hop; Rap; RnB.
009. Birthdate: 30th May '82.
010. Birthplace: Singapore.
011. Zodiac sign: Gemini; come on I'm not that bad.
012. Current location: Travelling between Melbourne and Singapore.
013. Live with: Mother (Singapore); Alone (Melbourne).
014. Name of current school: RMIT University.
015. Grade or Year(if in college): Final year next year.
016. Graduation date year: 2002.
017. GPA: Never took it.
018. Height: 165cm. That's 5'6"?
019. Hair color: Black with faded brown streaks.
020. Highlights or dyed: I highlight my hair every 6 months.
021. Hair length: Just below my shoulder (Just cut it).
022. Eye color: Dark brown.
023. Contacts or glasses: Both.
024. Freckles: On my arms.
025. Birthmark(s): I have one ugly one on my butt.
026. Scar(s): Pimple/Chickenpox scars.
027. Type(s) of clothes you wear: It depends. I like skirts that are below the knee and pretty tops.
028. Cologne or Perfume you wear: Gucci Rush for Men.
029. Deodorant you use: My friends and I all swear by Lady Speedstick.

Family Life
030. Mom's name: Joyce
031. Dad's name: Christopher, but everyone calls him Chris.
033. Closest family member: I'm not close to anyone in my family, so I'd have to say my mom.
034. Family member you could live without: My stepmother.
035. Last family member you've seen: Mother.
036. Oldest: My paternal grandfather.
037. Youngest: My cousin's daughter. That makes me an auntie. Yech.
038. Family member who lives the farthest away: My brother. He's in Perth right now. But when I'm in Melbourne, he isn't that far eh?
039. Fondest memory: I only remember the shitty stuff.
040. Memory you miss the most: Feeling genuinely happy.
041. Family member you wish the mafia would kill: My stepmother or my stepfather's father. He is a major pain in the ass.
042. Memory you wish you had: Spending wonderful times with my father.
043. What you did yesterday: Slept till 6PM then ate and watch TV then slept again.
044. What you did so far today: Already mentioned this at the beginning of this whole entry.
045. Last person you talked to on the phone: Jasmine.
046. Last person you talked to online: Cindy.
047. Last movie you've seen: In the cinema, The Princess Diaries. On VCD, Original Sin. On TV, I'm watching Any Given Sunday now.
048. Last song you heard on the radio: I don't listen to the radio.
049. Last CD you played: With MTV why do I need CDs?
050. Last thing you said out loud: ARGH.
094. Kiss: No way.
095. Pretzels: Ooo, I love the Auntie Annie's (whatever is the name of that place) ones.
096. Britney Spears: I can't stand the sight of her.
097. School: I'm glad I'm having my vacation now.
098. Floppy: disks?
099. Shoes: I prefer sandals to shoes.

Have you ever
100. Been on a plane: Duh.
101. Cried in public: I'm a cry baby.
102. Climbed a tree: When I was a kid, I tried to pluck some coconuts, but obviously I didn't succeed.
103. Gotten in a physical fight: All the time with my brother.
104. Drank alcohol: Ooo yes baby.
105. Fell asleep in a movie theater: Yeah. I fell asleep while watching South Park the movie.
106. Driven a car: Yes, and I almost killed a dog and a pedestrian in one day.
107. Been arrested: No way.
108. Broken curfew: Never had any curfews.
109. Been pulled over when driving: I'm still learning how to drive.
110. Farted in public: *sniggers* No. That's Wenlene's speciality. I hope she doesn't kill me.
111. Met a celebrity: Bumped into? Yes.
112. Skipped school: All the time baby.
113. Went to a pro sports game: I'm not a sporty person.
114. Met the president: Do you think I care?
115. Been scared to get shot: I've thought about it, but I wasn't scared.
116. Smoke a cigarette: When I was younger.
117. Gotten a cavity: Nopes.
118. Done any drugs: Uh.. yes.
119. Shopped at Abercrombie & Fitch: Never heard of that place.
120. Gone skinny dipping: No. Peeps will die if they see me naked.

121. Food: Japanese
122. Drink: Green tea; Bubble tea; Qoo's white grape.
123. TV show: Sex and the City; Friends; Rove Live; Charmed; Dark Angel.
124. Movie: Original Sin; Moulin Rouge; Rush Hour 2; etc.
125. CD: Moulin Rouge's soundtrack.
126. Song: Currently it's Somethin' Stupid by Robbie Williams & Nicole Kidman.
127. Color: Red; black; purple; pink; blue.
128. Day of the week: Saturday.
129. Month: June.
130. Number: 11.
132. Favorite Car: Jeep Wrangler; Audi TT Coupe.
133. Cookie: Chocolate chip.
134. Toothpaste: Oral-B.
135. Ice Cream: Cookies n Cream
137. Candy bar: Ooo.. Crunchie.
138. TV channel: MTV Asia; Geographic Channel; Cartoon Network.
139. Radio station: I am very anti-radio.
140. Artist or band: Matchbox Twenty
141. Shampoo and conditioner: Pantene.
143. Website: Paul Frank; Mooks.
144. Sports to play: Hockey; Street hockey.
145. Sports to watch: Gymnastics; swimming; diving.
146. Place: My own apartment.
147. Vacation spot: New York; Ibiza; Paris; Hong Kong.
148. Kind of candle: I don't give a damn.
149. Color eyes: Blue/green.

Ah okay, I'm done. I'm so damn bored. Someone give me something else to do. Sigh, sigh, sigh.

current mood: bored

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Wednesday, November 21st, 2001
4:37 pm - Current Issues;
I know, I know. I need to get a life.

Current music: Aaliyah's More than a woman just finished. Starsailor's Alcoholic is playing.
Current taste: Ricola Original Herb.
Current hair: Tied and pinned up.
Current dress: MCP boxers and hockey jersey.
Current grievance: My leaking nose.
Current annoyance: This soreness under my left eye.
Current longing: Food.
Current thing I should be doing: My essay of course.
Current windows open: Greymatter's main menu.
Current desktop picture: Paul Frank's Clancy the giraffe.
Current books: No books just magazines.
Current cds in stereo: Destiny's Child latest album.
Current colour of toenails: Metallic grey.
Current refreshment: Water.
Current worry: My essay.
Current crush: None.
Current favourite celebrities: Angelina Jolie; Nicole Kidman; Antonio Banderas; Ewan Mcgregor; Rob Thomas; Ryan Phillipe; Gisele Bundchen.
Current hate: I seriously detest Penelope Cruz. And no, I wouldn't give her a chance.
Spell your name backwards: Elleda. Not bad!
Where do you live?: Singapore.
Describe yourself in three words: Fucking lazy bummer.
If you could have ANY animal for a pet, what would it be?: Either a wolfhound or a lion.
Have you ever used a spork?: Yeah, most of the times when you eat in the school's cafeteria, they give you that.
Do you even know what a spork is?: It's the plastic fork-spoon right?
What is the latest you've ever stayed up?: I can stay up till 4PM the next day or just not sleep forever.
Ever been to Belgium?: Nope.
What's your favourite coin?: The Australian 2$ coin. It makes the cutest sound.
Wallet: A cheap buy from Stussy. Looks nice and expensive. *sniggers*
Brush: The Body Shop's one with metal bristles.
Toothbrush: Purple one from Colgate. Dentist forced it on me.
Jewelry worn daily: Tiffany's necklace since I was 16; My silver hoop earrings; Tongue stud; Navel barbell; and this orange & white bracelet.
Pillow cover: Grey with some blue psychadelic pattern.
Blanket: This cartoony looking sheet.
Coffee cup: I don't drink coffee.
Sunglasses: Gucci black framed ones.
Underwear: Bonds' hipster boyleg in turqoise.
Shoes: I prefer sandals to shoes.
Nail polish: Nadda. My fingernails are bare.
Handbag: Depends on my mood, so such thing as only one handbag!
Favorite top: My one-shoulder top from Kookai that's striped purple and black.
Favorite pants: I seldom wear pants. How about my Levi's crop jeans?
Perfume: Gucci Rush for Men; Gucci Rush 2; Chanel Allure for Men.
Tattoos: Tribal butterfly on right shoulder blade; Flower and vines on my lower back.
Piercings: Ears; tongue; navel.
Makeup: Why would I wear makeup at home?
In my mouth: My tongue stud.
In my head: My fucked up brain.
Hearing: Destiny's Child - Emotion
Wishing: I wouldn't fail my essay.
Talking to: Nobody wants to talk to me.

current mood: hyper

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5:43 am - Look left; there's nothing on your right.
I'm frigging tired, but still I'm not in bed. Maybe cos my room's too far? Lame excuse. So anyway I've just finished with the new layout at irous and that's a fucking good thing. Damn, I can't stop cussing. My mom is right, I need to wash my mouth with detergent.

Survey time. I got this from Vicki.

1. Full name: Adelle (go figure out the real name yourself).
2. Were you named after anyone? Not that I know of.
3. Do you wish on stars? I used to wish on stars all the time. Now I only do so when I'm desperate.
4. Which finger is your favorite? Index finger. Hell it's the most useful.
5. When did you last cry? I cry so much that I seriously can't remember. But the good thing is I haven't cried at all the whole of this week.
6. If you were making a movie about yourself, what would the title be? I really don't give a fucking damn.
7. Do you like your handwriting? YES! Even my lecturer announced that it's super neat. And I count on it to score extra marks. :P
8. Who do you admire? My dad and Angelina Jolie.
9. What is the #1 priority in your life? How about squeezing a few into 1? Studies; family and Jasmine.
10. What is your favorite lunchmeat? Smoked turkey.
11. Any bad habits? Biting my nails; rubbing my eyes.
12. What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf? Britney Spears' first album. What the fuck was I thinking?
13. If you were another person, would you be friends WITH you? Why not? I don't bite.
14. Are you a daredevil? It depends.
15. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Unfortunately, yes.
16. Have you ever stolen anything? No. Never did; never will.
17. Do looks matter? I agree with Vicki. No matter what we say, it does matter.
18. Have you ever misused a word and it sounded absolutely stupid? I'm the queen of stupidity.
19. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? I looked and there isn't any gold, just a pile of shit.
20. Do fish have feelings? Duh. Let me ask you, do you have feelings?
21. Are you trendy? Let's put it this way, I hate trends.
22. How do you release anger? Break things; throw things; smash things; hit things; hit people. Basically, I get violent.
23. Where is your second home? Melbourne. Hmm.. or is it the other way round? Melb first and Sg second? I don't know.
24. Do you trust others easily? All the time.
25. What was your favorite toy as a child? All the Fisher Price stuff drove me nuts.
26. What class in school do you think is totally useless? In university, I think it'll have to Empires; colonies and nations (some history shit). In sec school, I thought science was a waste of my time. HA.
27. Do you like sappy love songs? Not really. Do I look sappy to you?
28. Have you ever been on radio or television? I've been on TV when I appeared in this commercial.
29. Do you have a journal? Pft. What the hell do you think this is?
30. Do you use sarcasm alot? No no no.
31. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? No.
32. What do you look for in a guy? I'm not looking for any guys bozo.
33. What is your nickname? Adelle; Ah diao; Bloppy; Mei mei.
34. Would you bunjee jump? I'm scared of heights, so OBVIOUSLY NOT.
35. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? If I can remove them without doing so, no. On the other hand if it's too tight, I'll just yank at it or something.
36. What are you worried about right now? My fucking essay.
37. Do you ever wear overalls? When I was a kid.
38. Do you think you are strong? Depends on whether it's physically or emotionally. I think I'm pretty strong physically, but the total opposite emotionally.
39. What's your favorite ice cream? Haagendas' Cookies n Cream.
40. What's your favorite color? I will list a few colours: Red; black; purple; pink; blue.
41. What's your least favorite thing in the world? Oh boy, I have loads of least favourite things. But I can tell you straight out that I hate people who have no mind of their own and copycats.
42. How many wisdom teeth do you have? 1 growing and a few more to come. :(
43. Do you have anything pierced? Both my ears; my tongue; my navel.
44. Do you have any tattoos? Yeah. My right shoulder and my lower back.
45. Who are the people you care most about? Jasmine; my family and my friends.

Ok. Now it's seriously time to sleep.

current mood: sleepy

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Sunday, November 18th, 2001
2:14 pm - No I'm not gonna turn on the music
I just couldn't help it :x

*A - Age: 19
*B - Best Quality: *Shrugs* I try not to be judgemental?
*C - Choice of Meat: Chicken. Something more adventurous? How about Fox? :P
*D - Dream Date: Person or place? I wanna go out with Angelina Jolie if that's not too much to ask for. And I wouldn't mind that we both sit at a quiet restaurant and I just listen to her speak and take in her beauty all at once. Heaven.
*E - Exciting Adventure: Shopping is quite exciting. Ah, I'm not adventurous at all. Too many phobias.
*F - Favorite Food: Japanese food definitely.
*G - Greatest Accomplishment: Not dropping out of school.
*H - Happiest Day of your life: Pft. Ask me again when I'm dead.
*I - Interests: Too many to list.
*K - Kool Aid: Uh uh.
*L - Love: Jasmine; mommy; daddy; and my friends.
*M - Most Valued thing you own: The thing is I get sick of stuff easily. Right now, I'm still quite a bit in love with my digital video cam; my siemens phone and my mp3 player.
*N - Name: Adelle; Alicia; Shan
*O - Outfit you love: Damn I love most of my clothes. My current favourite are my Levi's crop jeans.
*P - Pizza toppings: Pepporoni and Extra Cheese!
*Q - Question Asked to you the most: Did you sleep last night? *rolls eyes*
*R - Radio Station: I don't listen to the radio. Crap shit.
*S - Sport: Used to be hockey, now I don't know.
*T - Television Show: Sex and the City.
*U - Ur favorite song: Too many to list so give me a break.
*V - Video: Kevin and Perry Go Large. AWESOME SHIT!
*W - Winter: Let's go ski or shop??!?!?!
*X - Xylophone: Uh whatever.
*Y - Year born: 1982.
*Z - Zodiac Sign: Gemini.

current mood: giddy

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1:58 pm - Sick; I'm sick in the mind
Last week, I thought I couldn't get sicker than the state I was in (runny nose and swollen eyes). Today, I'm purely the definition of sick. I'm suffering from a bad case of cold/flu. My damn throat hurts and my nose has been running since 6 this morning.

Did anybody watch the Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman MTV last night after Temptation Island? Oh man, Nicole Kidman is SO hot. I was drooling all over myself, and my mom was giving me this disgusted look. HA. Tom Cruise doesn't know what he's missing out on. DOUBLE HA. Did you guys know that the media has been speculating that Nicole and Robbie are dating? TRIPLE HA. I love Robbie Williams, but he and Nicole don't really go well together. But that's way better than being with Russell Crowe. *Shudders*

So anyway, I did more shopping yesterday and I came across this shop at Far East Plaza (actually I went into to the shop before, but this time I went in and tried on almost everything). I ended up buying a skirt and a top; and they even took down my number to inform me of their new arrivals. Their clothes are quite funky, and it's all about good mixing and matching. Blah blah blah.

I wanna get this new Prescriptives product, but it'll only be lauched next week. The salesgirl at CK Tang was being bitchy when I was looking at the products. Yeah I know they cost $70+ each, BUT oh please, she kept following me around. And after I said I was browsing, she walked off, but when she saw me meddling with some stuff, she came back to keep and eye on me. That stupid bitch. I mean come on, I have those products. Doesn't mean that when I'm not dressed up, I can't afford anything. I think I'll just go get it from Isetan next week. I realise that quite a few girls who work at cosmetic counters can be quite a pain in the ass. But I like the Bobbi Brown girl at Isetan, so I think I'll go to her the next time round. I appreciate good service, and I'm really polite to those who serve me right. As for the rest, they can go to hell and take their bad attitude along with them. I'm really a lot like my father; we demand good service and when we don't get it, we throw a hissy fit. But that's good in a way, cos I'm not gonna let any snobby salesperson put me down.

Actually, I used to keep my mouth shut and not say a word. But that was before I went over to Melbourne. In Australia, everyone's friendly and it's very very seldom that you get the occasional snobs. But I returned home for my first holiday in Singapore, I went over to Flash n Splash at The Heeren in search for a bikini. I eyed one and wanted to try it, but the salesgirl was so rude to me and she kept speaking to me like I'm some idiot. I asked her whether she had a size 8 (XS) and she rolled her eyes and said, "There's no such size." Oh fuck off! Size 8 is the standard size, and there's even a size 6. That stupid crappy bitch. Worse was she kept saying very loudly, "Don't remove all your undergarments when you're trying." Like DUH, do I look that dumb? She thought I was going to buy it and she was so damn rude cos I didn't dress like some rich punk. I ended up buying the bikini and I throw my card at her. Later on, I even brought my friend down and pointed her out and said real loud "That girl serves like she has something stuck up her ass." Haha. Very childish of me I know.

Funniest clash with authority was when I quarreled with the manager of Times Square (Takashimaya) Swensens. She called the security on me, and it was this whole big drama. Pretty dumb and it's quite a long story that no one would wanna read about. Ah, I'm stupid. I'm tired. I'm gonna go watch MTV Europe Music Awards 2001.

I spout a lot of nonsense. I love Heidi Klum. Yummmmm.

current mood: sick

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